How to write personal wedding vows (Without having a meltdown)

Let me guess: you've decided you want personal vows, you've opened a blank document, stared at it for 45 minutes, written "I love you because..." and then closed the laptop. Sound familiar?

Writing personal vows is genuinely one of the things couples find hardest about planning a ceremony. But it doesn't have to be, and when it's done well, it's the thing that makes everyone in the room cry (in a good way).

Here's how to actually do it:

Start with a story, not a statement. Instead of "You are my best friend," tell the story of the moment you knew. A specific memory is worth a hundred generic declarations. "I knew I wanted to marry you when you..." is a great opener.

Keep it to 1 - 2 minutes when spoken aloud. That's roughly 200 - 300 words. Any longer and nerves can get to you, and your partner's face will start doing that polite smile thing.

Write to your person, not to the audience. Forget that there are 80 people watching. What do you actually want to say to this specific human? Write that.

Include a promise that actually means something to both of you. Not just "I promise to love you", but something real and specific. "I promise to always make you a cup of tea in bed" lands harder than you'd think.

Don't try to be funnier or more poetic than you are. Authenticity is the whole point. The funniest, most moving vows I've ever heard were the ones that sounded exactly like the person saying them.

As your celebrant, I can help you shape your vows as part of the process, so you're never doing this alone. If you'd like to know more, get in touch below.