Let's get into the real tea: some people bloody love a walk down the aisle. Others would genuinely rather have their teeth pulled.
If you're in camp two, you're not broken and you're not being difficult. You just don't want to spend the most personal moment of your life being stared at by forty people and an uncle with a phone. Fair enough.
Your day, your story, your rules - including the rule that you don't have to be the centre of attention.
Here's how we build a ceremony that doesn't feel like a spotlight.
Skip the big entrance
You don't have to walk in alone, or at all. Walk in together. Walk in with your mate. Be already standing at the front when guests arrive, so the ceremony starts with you calm rather than your heart going like a drum and bass tune. Nobody's checking the rulebook.
Ditch the "everyone looking at you" layout
Standing in a semicircle with your people around you instead of a seated audience in rows changes the whole feeling. Less audience, more gathering.
Say the words quietly
You can do your vows in private before the ceremony. You can do them with no microphone. You can just give each other written versions of them. There are no rules so let’s do it the way that makes you happy.
Cut the bits you hate
No "who gives this woman". No surprise readings from a guest who's been practising. No games, no "let's hear it for them" call and response. You don’t even have to do a first kiss if that’s not really your vibe. Ten minutes of a lovely, warm ceremony is a perfectly good ceremony if that’s what you want.
Give yourself an escape route
A private five minutes before you go in. A plan for to disappear for a bit afterwards. Knowing the exit exists makes it much easier to enjoy the bit in the middle.
Keep it small
You don’t have to invite everyone you’ve ever met to your wedding. Keep the guestlist small and filled with people you know have got your back, and watch your anxiety melt away.
If that sounds like your jam, hit the button and we can talk more about how to make your wedding ceremony as non-anxiety inducing as possible.
